Bad Album Covers - Volume 1

As someone who really loves to collect albums, I find it a treat to see all the incredible album covers there are, from Wish You Were Here to Hybrid Theory to Holy Diver, and hell even some bands I don't like have some pretty decent album covers. However, for every Bat Out of Hell II, there is usually something that is really, really bad. Sometimes they are lazy, bland, uninspired or just plain weird, and other times, they are really, really hilarious. So here is a collection of some pretty bad album covers, and to start things of, let's look at a band I've already discussed on this blog.

Now on the surface, this album cover isn't too bad. It's just the band standing around underneath a bright star. The cover may be generic, but nothing too bad. So then, why is it here? Well, this might not be for the cover itself, but let's take a look at the same cover with inversed colours.

Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing? I seriously can not be the only one who thinks that star now looks like a butthole, I mean, I'm sure it was all coincidence, but the blue sky creates a skin colour and the star's points become defined over the rest of it, and it really looks like that. I really have nothing else to say, aside from the album itself also sucks.

But that was only looking at the album from a certain perspective, I'm mostly looking at album covers that suck when you look at them on their own. So, what else are we to see other than some of the strangest images that bands and artists would have ever thought to be able to sell their albums. Such as in the case of Canadian folk band Moxy Fruvous.

What is even going on here? Is this an album cover or something John Callahan would draw? I mean, the cover is essentially the drawings of a kindergartener with inattentive parents during Woodstock. I really want to know who designed this, and if this was somehow tied to Jian Ghomeshi. Oh yeah, Jian Ghomeshi was a part of this band. I am going to have to review this album someday, aren't I?

Of course a particular brand of normal can be seen a lot with bad album covers or sometimes just plain weird ones, such as with AFI.

Okay, so this album I will review as I do own a copy, but I really want to say that this cover is awful. I don't know what is happening and I don't want to know. Is she spinning the man around? Is she trying to catch him? If so, what is he running from? And for an album called Very Proud of Ya, was this really the best image for that title? I really have nothing this cover blows.

But what about the bizarrely bad? The unnatural oddities? Well, there are a lot of those, but we can't get to them all. Mostly because I do have my limits, so with that said:

What the living Hell is this? The guy playing the piano is normal, it is very common for people with singular instrument talents to be featured on the album cover playing, or at least posing with, their instrument of choice. No, my real questions start with the naked woman on top of the piano. I mean, what!? Who thought of that? Why is that a thing? How did this album not cause any controversy? If it did why didn't I hear about it somewhere online? I tried looking up the name Eddie Mack, but all I found were more images of this album cover, so I think this is the ultimate legacy of the artist, album photographer and woman on the piano. Isn't that depressing?

This album cover is glorious in not only how lame it is, but also in how flat out geeky it is. I mean, they are obviously holding toy laser guns, wearing less than competent costume pieces and uhhh... That is a panty shot. Also, am I reading that right? SIR Adrian Boult? this guy was a sir? Somehow that really makes me lose hope for British knighting.

Aright, one more absurdly bad album cover and I think I saved the best, and most offensive, for last.

I... I have no words. The jokes make themselves. I can show this to some of my friends and they would just say, "Nope! Too easy" and my friends are pun masters, they can really dole out the Pun-ishment. But seriously, this album cover is just bizarre and you would be forgiven for thinking that this was an album from the 1970s or late 60s, but this is a recent album, as in 2013. I feel really bad that I did not ever see this album at my local HMV.

Now heading back to the bad, we have...

Ke$ha pretending to be Lady Gaga? or maybe a Lady Gaga, Katy Perry mesh that was abandoned on a purple planet. Is she on the Planet Namek? What is she wearing, a stained glass dress? I have no words, this album cover is just... just... WHAT!?

Okay, last two, and I think I saved the best for last. These covers don't suck per say, but they are really hilarious I think it would be a tragedy to not include them with this. No they are not good album covers but they are not terrible, and to start this off;

Words fail me. This album screams in the best way it can, gay. There is no other word to describe this, it is actually really amazing. I think the only complaint I have is the guy on the right. Who is that guy? Why does he look like if Tim Burton put Edward Scissorhands in Marty McFly's Jacket? He really looks as if My Chemical Romance and Misfits had a flamboyant gay son. Also, to protect my ass from the approaching French horn of comments, I just want to say I have nothing against being gay, but that doesn't mean when you see something that there is no other word to describe it you can't criticize it, especially if it wasn't intentional.

Now this is an incredible cover. I mean, look at that band, they are all so chiseled and muscular, it makes a pretty boy like Prince turn away in shame. There outfits are like, loincloths and their 80's hair. I can not describe this in any other word but homoerotic. Seriously, they are all sweaty and half-naked and it is just glorious. Let us bask in the glory of this amazingly hilarious cover.

So yeah, those last two weren't too bad, but they were really funny. I was actually laughing when I put the images on here. I'm also quite surprised that these albums didn't cause a whole lot of controversy. I don't think album covers that are controversial are also bad alongside it. I mean, a lot of the time it is just the public overreacting, but every so often...

Yeah....

I'm the Entity of Darkness, and next time will be an album review. This was just a fun distraction for the time being. With any luck I may be able to do this again.